Updated: Apr 28
It's all about that shade.
You can't just stick a bandaid on a stab wound, You gotta see it and tend to it first.
You can't just "love" yourself because somebody said so, you gotta learn how to stop hating yourself first.
You can't just manifest good times, it's like papering over the cracks.
You see, I for years......did the old,
Stiff upper lip...get on with it.
Denied myself the gift of healing...
Tried to contain this football under the water..
I was a counsellor by this point, thought I'd done enough therapy, self-development etc
"Should know better by now"
Couldn't be seen to be having struggles,
I was a beacon "don't you know"
Someone people came to for help...
Jesus that was painful.
Then...I crumbled...I couldn't .... I'd stopped honouring myself... Got into bullshit pride and ego ...
You see, I'm a human being, with a past, with a soul yes, a beautiful spirituality and a strong belief, but life happens. .
We are not expected to be zen Buddhists and non-reactive ..
That may well be do-able if I lived in a monastery, up a mountain, no interactions, no life responsibilities. Meditating all day, code of silence ...
But I'm not.
I'm here, you're here...dealing with life..dealing with past wounds and a sometimes dysfunctional world.
You're gonna get angry sometimes,
You're gonna feel lonely or sorry for self
You're gonna get pissed off or jealous.
And you're not always gonna be best self. Yep, sorry about that.
But it's fine, it's ok, all of it perfectly normal, what's not is pretending it's not.
We feel it, we see it, we own it, and we figure out what we can do..
There's nothing more healing than allowing
It softens the edges of shame.
We know that our life is a construct and emotion is part of the game..
What's damaging is when we just live there...when we stay in our anger or fear..
When we don't acknowledge our shadow and try to just bury or hide..
You see it acts like a ball under water,
You can manage to suppress for a certain length of time.
But it comes up when you most least expect it, and leaves you feeling wide open and exposed.
You judge yourself for your weakness, and feel even more less than before .
But my love's....emotion...all of it is valid....good , bad indifferent...you're asked to do nothing more , than to meet yourself where you're at,
And deal accordingly...
That's authentic....that's in flow...
That's true alignment ...
And when we walk with courage and bravery, and allow our hurts to be seen... The Universe recognizes willingness, it recognizes courage and truth, and rather than "mirror back" your pain....it will honour your journey of light ....
When we walk, honestly...bravely..courageously, allowing our highs and our lows to be seen, we are sent all the help and the guidance to support us in our quest for the truth..
And that's real talk...real experience...so if someone tells you, talking about your past will keep you locked in it, or if you react, you're not addressing self hard enough, or that you should bypass real emotions , without allowing yourself to express and heal first ..
Then tell em where to come find me, I'd be happy to meet for a brew.